Smokers Inc.

God is absolutely humane, for having denied me the smoking instinct in my brain. But the game doesn't end there, my ever lasting admiration to cigarettes and smokers continue strong as ever. This is a tribute to all the smokers I have come across and the eternal memories of seeing them in action they have left in my mind.

The first time I realized smoking is very much a reality among people we are in touch was when one of my fathers colleagues came to stay over in my house for a night. Good god, the commotion my mother made over the instance once he left was far more lethal than the smoke he exhaled. I bet, she would have taken the massacre of 10 people next door(if it ever happened) lightly. Well, I wasn't curious. I was a family-law abiding kid (regrets).

The next dose of my experience came a few years later, in a movie. But the cigarette from the hero's mouth faded away from my memory owing to beauty of the shot and the actor. Face to face with cigarettes, that did happen when I was in for graduation. Couldn't believe my roomie smoked. Shouted to him to wait for me, when he said he was going to smoke. Then I watched him smoke with another friend of mine in the balcony, in utter bewilderment . Half way down the cigarette both collapsed on the bed, commenting that it was bliss. I was intelligent enough to make out they were not veterans in the business.

Did try it, not long after, at the height of the excitement of having made through an exam which I thought will never happen, gave me enough courage. Disaster. Somehow I liked the smell of tobacco. Then came the habit of holding used cigarette butts between my fingers, and smelling the fingers after that. I would ask to reserve the butt for me the moment someone lights. Lucky me, no one ever challenged me with a TBM for that.

In due course I dropped out the habit of holding the cigarette butts, finding it unhygienic. ( Butts hardly reached me before kissing atleast 5 guys lips) Invented something new to quench my desire for the smell, smelling the cigarette packs. Have struck to the habit till date. But owing to the raising eye brows of smokers, always kept it as a low key affair, out of public eyes.

Off all the brands I have come across I have never smelled a cigarette better then "Wills Navy Cut". Never seen such a sexy cigarette either. Some body remarked a"navy cut" is called so because the original cigarette was shortened to fit in to the pockets of US Navy. I wonder if guys in US Navy ever saw a "Wills Navy Cut".

Can't keep laughing at what people do in students hostels for cigarettes. Irrespective of being rich or poor, beginner or expert all of them followed the rules below.

• Never keep cigarettes where someone can easily spot it. Make your best effort to hide them better than your porn magazine.
• If some one is spotted smoking make sure you walk up to him and get a share.
• Don't throw away the cigarette butts, accumulate it in a common place. You never know when you have to smoke them again. Common places of accumulation : unused buckets, corner of the room, balcony and once in a while, ashtray. The use of an ashtray complicates the recovery process, as you will have to spread the whole contents out to search for a potentially reusable piece. Open spaces avoid this trouble.
• Never keep a match box with you if you are a smoker. Try to wake up the guy who have studied for the whole night and ask for a match box, aware of the fact that he neither smokes nor does any pooja.
• People who does poojas are the most hunted for people in the hustles for lights. Have seen them contributing tons on match boxes and match sticks for safe keeping of smoking communities. Morons.
• Your lighter never works when you want to smoke.
• If you don't have cigarettes carry a match box, you have good chances of getting a smoke.

I grew fascinated by the habit more and and more as time passed by. But never had the nerve or conviction to take it up. Got used to passive smoking. You don't have much choices when you are in a drinking party with other 5-10 guys in a 7*10 feet room with doors and windows closed. You can actually witness fumes escaping from the room when ever you open the door to let someone in or out. At some point of time during that period I learnt how to make ash trays out of small metallic cans. Did that more as a tactic to save the room from knee deep ashes than as a hobby. It was not long before I realized that the 150 ml Deo cans are not enough to hold my roomies one day's smoking effort. Thought of getting an unused tar drum for him, dropped the plan owing to lack of space.

Saw a new breed of smokers in the cubicle world. This category smoked as if that is what they are paid for. Still have the feeling that the company policies ( not supposed to smoke in the premises) were made by an unrealistic retrograde man. If somebody is idle for 5 mins he will gather 5 guys and go out for a smoke. Any smoking session is a 30 mins affair. Once the protagonist is back, someone else would be waiting for him in his cube to go out for a smoke. See the impact it has on the productivity. It wouldn't be a bad idea to move the cubes and machines of critical resources outside the campus. Let me tell you Smoking zone is the most happening place in the company. More active than the board rooms. Its the cradle of gossips. You will get the inside dope about who slept with whom, who is new in HR, which team sucks more, who got the new car, what a great job we are doing to boost country's economy, who has quit, his new package, which company has cigarette vending machines ( you just need to swipe your access cards), which company is catered by Taj group, who is going to buy our company, how the guy next cube got a promotion, who is getting fired next, reason to sack the last one, next eras technology, where you spotted her in a compromising situation, with whom, .....What not. Cigarette is a esprit de corps I bet. You have a reason to come to office and you a have a method to spend your time. A time when foreign cigarette packs as given as performance incentives instead of peanuts is not far.

Smokers you are the essence of any Corp. Any place devoid of you is as good as a desert without sand. How I tried to get in to the habit despite all odds. Some times I feel I am a failure. Wish I could start smoking some day. Thus goes the vision of me smoking.

Clad in blue denim jeans, lighting up the cigarette with my lighter, the butt at the start of my fingers, fingers wide spread (Well, I dream of John), never bothering to dust away the ashes, lone, deep inhalation, hardly taking the cigarette out of my mouth......lol.....Can't help laughing.